'south'east of eden

In a few short months and a brief intermission, I will be continuing my work with Red Window Project; moving from the beaches and quaint (by Filipino standards) city of Cebu to the bright lights and congested metropolis of Manila. Having experienced so much in the last two years, I sometimes wonder what will stay with me. The beach havens, the motorcycle rides in the middle of nowhere, the mangoes, or the gentle smiles. The year of “it feels like I am way too young to be making these kind of decisions, oh that’s because you are.”

I can feel my patience growing, personal space shrinking, “nooo ma’ams,” scooter pick up lines and think, today was a good day. A few more stamps in my passport to prove that I truly did fall in love with the Philippines and a few more burn lines to freckle my skin.

It was a year of mockery…“you have lived here for how long and still have trouble saying “how are you?”

It was a year of crimes against humanity, the wounds, the tears. How many pedophiles have to come to this city just to use a young innocent girl, and walk away? I may go back to America and say I saw hell.

I’ve stopped trying to guess and predict what is next to come. The colors are brighter, the toothy smiles radiate joy, rodents are an ordinary part of the day, and the impromptu speeches are getting a little less awkward.

And when I see a woman outside her home removing lice from her daughter’s hair, or I see an entire family of 5 riding on one motorbike, or look up at a sunlit sky from within the confines of the dump or gather around the bamboo table with friends, everything inside me becomes calm. I might go home and say I saw Eden.